I seem to have become apathetic in regards towards my sin these past few weeks. Or perhaps it has really been going on longer than that. Chances are, it has. This past week it has occurred to me that I have not been at war with the sinful tendencies and desires of my flesh. I have been angry with others, disapproving, critical, and judgmental. I have been unloving, uncaring, and ignorant to the cares and concerns of those around me. I have been in a tightly sealed bubble in which my life seems to be the only one that matters. This morning, I find myself angry. Violently angry and downright ticked off. Every second I spend criticizing and judging the people around me, particularly fellow heirs of God's Kingdom, is a second wasted, a second I am not serving God for His Kingdom. How could I possibly forget that the irritability toward others and the disdain with which I regard others NAILED JESUS TO THE CROSS. Have I no regard for holiness whatsoever? Have I let myself become so occupied with the business of my schedule that I gave no thought to the war in which I am engaged? Have I let my senses become weak and allowed myself to become vulnerable to attack? Yes. "Love thy neighbor"- words I have not obeyed. Amy Carmichael once said "If I take offense easily; if I am content to continue in a cool unfriendliness, though friendship be possible, then I know nothing of Calvary Love."
I must confess I feel slightly embarrassed to admit this. Ashamed in fact. And in the midst of God's gracious pruning of this area of my life, I MUST remember the Gospel. But I openly admit this because I am not a good person and I need, desperately need, the prayers of my fellow brethren in this area especially. Pray for me to walk in the controlling love of Christ. I beg of you...please pray.
